Great Location, Horrible Amenities

I hate my apartment.  One, it is slanted.  It's true, my apartment slants slightly forward.  This was the first thing my mom noticed when she decided to stay with me instead of in a hotel.  I can safely say, never again will she do that.  Every morning my mom woke up she said she wasn't sure if she was hungover or had vertigo because our apartment was so slanted.  Just look at the way the door fits into the frame.   

  

   

Shouldn't we get some kind of monthly discount?

The second reason I hate my apartment is because of the stupid gas stove and oven from the 1970's.  The pilot lights constantly burn out.  For example, today I walked into our apartment and smelled nothing but gas.  I thought I was going to die.  Our pilot light in our oven had burned out and our wonderful landlord, Dennis (who also turns out to be a calligrapher on the side), did not know how to light the pilot burner and suggested that I call the maintenance manager, Lewis.  After about 30 minutes of inhaling fumes, Lewis came to the rescue.  

After he lit the pilot light, I left to go meet a friend for dinner.  8th St in Eastern Market by the way has great places to eat.  This place, Cafe 8, I loved.  My friend said he's worried they may go out of business because it is always empty, so go try it.  I promise it is good food.  Anyway, when I got home, my apartment was about 800 degrees (I forgot to mention that the heat stopped working in my room a few weeks ago so normally it is freezing) and smelled kind of funny.  I immediately went to the kitchen to see what could have gone wrong with the 1970's stove/oven and saw that Lewis had left the stove on broil instead of turning it off.  I was hoping the whole oven and stove would blow up and we could get a new one, but unfortunately this was not the case.  Now it just smells even funnier.